Let Him Fly

I've only ever loved two men. The first one we won't talk about. The second was Jake. It's been almost a year since he broke my heart and moved on-without telling me that he was moving on I might add. It hurt so bad. He truly was my first and only best guy friend. I could tell him anything and I did. It was hard not being able to have him to talk to. He always dealt with my crap even when I was being a complete bitch. When he kissed me I felt like he really cared about me. Well, lips can be deceiving I guess. So, I was going through my messages on myspace, deleting the ones I didn't need. I came across a message from his girlfriend who he moved on with. I saw them both on her profile picture and clicked to see it enhanced. Big mistake. Now it's both of their profiles. It says Jacob & Heidi. I was the ONLY person to call him that. His legal name is Jake. So of course I started crying. A year later and I'm crying over some boy who never gave a shit about me. I feel really pathetic. Why am I wasting my tears over him? I think that people come into our lives to teach us a lesson and make us see things we never saw before. I believe in fate. I had wished that one day he would come back into my life-even as my friend-because I needed him. Now I know that that will never happen. He showed me that I am capable of love and friendship. He also taught me that I need to be more stable with myself and with other people. I miss him. He meant a lot to me. I will cry every December probably. However, I know the best thing that I can do is put it in God's hands. If we are meant to be we will be...but I really think all that will ever be between us has already happened. I'm just going to have to let him fly...But I love him. That I do know. I just hope that one day I will be able to move on and let myself fly.