Incomplete

I'm feeling a bunch of things right now. For one, I miss my baby like crazy! It's been almost 3 months since I lost my baby and it's still very hard for me. I'm so happy for my friends, but it's really difficult watching them and their growing bellies. I'm extremely envious that they get to pick out a baby name and buy baby clothes and I have nothing to show for what should still be here. I feel so incredibly alone and that that was my one true chance to have a child. It was a complete accident-so unplanned-and that's what made it so special and terrifying. I was okay with doing it on my own and having one beautiful child. I wanted that baby so much and the fact that I lost it is what I still can't get over. It seems like the things we want the most we don't receive. I try my best to move on and fill up my time but sometimes these feelings do get the best of me. The only comfort I have is knowing that Nicole is with my angel and she is watching over him/her until I get there. That makes me happy :)