Loss Of A Little Soul

You would have been beautiful
You would have been wonderful
If you didn't have to go
You would have looked just like me
You would have been family
If you didn't have to leave

You would have been my baby girl
You would have ruled the world
You would have been my missing puzzle piece
Now I wonder if I'll ever be complete

You would have grown up to be
Whatever you wanted to be
There isn't much left to say
I barely knew you for a day
And you had to go away

You would have been my baby girl
You would have ruled the world
You would have been my missing puzzle piece
Now I wonder if I'll ever be complete

You are still a part of me
You stay in my heart for free
You'll keep good company
Maybe this chance will come again
But for now let's just pretend
Cause that day's around the bend
You left far too fast
I hope this pain don't last

38 Days

It's been a long time since I've posted. Honestly I've been depressed for the past few months. There are only 38 more days until my little Addison would be here. It's unbearable sometimes. I never knew how much I wanted a baby. More than anything I wanted her. In my mind, she was perfect. I wish I could be holding her in my arms and kissing her sweet cheeks and giving her baths. She would have been so beautiful. Everyday my love for her grows. I wish I could show and express to her that love. I want to turn back time and change what happened but I know I can't. It was completely out of my control. I don't know how life can be so unfair sometimes. I'm trying to take this time to learn about me though. I would love to be a mommy again and give Addison little siblings. Nothing will ever change my love for my little girl though. It can never be replaced either. Now I'm just trying to put back together the pieces of my broken heart, which wasn't even whole to start with, but maybe I can get it slightly pieced together again. I'm at the point where at least sometimes I have hope :)