It's been a long time since I've posted. Honestly I've been depressed for the past few months. There are only 38 more days until my little Addison would be here. It's unbearable sometimes. I never knew how much I wanted a baby. More than anything I wanted her. In my mind, she was perfect. I wish I could be holding her in my arms and kissing her sweet cheeks and giving her baths. She would have been so beautiful. Everyday my love for her grows. I wish I could show and express to her that love. I want to turn back time and change what happened but I know I can't. It was completely out of my control. I don't know how life can be so unfair sometimes. I'm trying to take this time to learn about me though. I would love to be a mommy again and give Addison little siblings. Nothing will ever change my love for my little girl though. It can never be replaced either. Now I'm just trying to put back together the pieces of my broken heart, which wasn't even whole to start with, but maybe I can get it slightly pieced together again. I'm at the point where at least sometimes I have hope :)
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