Let's See Where This Goes.

Life IS about taking chances but it's also about knowing when the risk isn't worth the fall. There's a reason people don't make it into your future. I have to believe that everything happens for a reason, that people don't make it to my future for a reason. I may not understand, and it may make me sad, but closing the door opens up new opportunities. I've kept the door locked, so I'm going to try it. I figure if something does work you either change it or learn to live with it. Every time I've received the same outcome, so this time I will try something different. I really have nothing to lose because I've already lost so much. I hope that in time everything will fall into place and make sense. I hope to be a better, happier person because of the mistakes I've make, but also because of the growth that I've embraced. It may not seem like it now, but I do believe in faith and destiny. I'm trying to let some sort of higher power lead the way. I think I sometimes hold onto life too much because I'm afraid of missing out. I believe that maybe the key is to not risk everything all the time, but to cautiously choose what it is your heart tells you to do, even if it doesn't make sense. I need to truly listen to my heart and soul, not some theory which I have upon life. Everybody's path is different. I can't place so many expectations on myself because if I do, I will fail. I've lived and I've hurt. Maybe now it's time that I live and let go. Live and love those who earn and deserve it. Nothing is more important than oneself because ultimately we have to live with ourselves and the decisions we make. At the end of the day, I'm the most important person to myself. If I'm not happy with who I am, how can anybody else be? How can I help other people if I can't help myself? There's nothing harder than when things reach the end, when something has to be let out of your life. Forever. I've come to hate that word. But forever you are out of my life because you have hurt me in a way that is unforgivable. Some day I will conquer my fear and forgive you, but today is not that day. Let the bad people inspire you. Prove all the people who told you you couldn't do it wrong. Let the people who have betrayed you leave and don't let them back. Only keep people in your life who deserve you. Each one of us is truly special and deserves love, respect, and happiness just as much as the next person. Be the person you strive to be and never let anybody bring you down. Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass. I don't know. I will let you know how it goes though.

xoxo Rach