I've been hoping that all these things have happened for a reason. I've been hoping that they have been preparing me for some really great surprises. What if it means nothing? As much as I want to have faith and believe in good things, I'm not sure that I can. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Life is not balanced in terms of proper rewards and punishments. What can I take away from that?
I can drown myself in sorrow with what ifs. I try not to think like that. Something just keeps holding me back. What it is I'm not sure. After so long, I'm tired of fighting. I won't give in or stop trying but with no positive results the work hardly seems worth the effort. I wish I couldn't care. I wish I didn't feel so strongly tied to this life and to this baby.
...but whether I want it to or not, life goes on.
"You may think you know me, but you really have no idea."
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