Taunted

I found out a former friend just had a baby. At this point I feel like God is just taunting me. Losing my child is hard enough but for everybody else to be having one is really difficult to watch. I can't change the past. I know that, but I still just wish that I would wake up and be pregnant. I wish this was all just a dream. I want my sweet little baby back. It's not fair. I don't understand why I'm being punished. I loved my baby with all my heart and then she was taken away from me in an instant. It's hurt so much. I think about her every single day. Not a day passes by when I don't. I'm sad that I don't have Addison in my belly anymore. I wish she was still growing inside of me. I wish I was buying diapers and little clothes for my baby girl, but I'm not because she's not here. I don't know how to be okay with this; the fact that my daughter died. I don't understand the point of it all. I don't understand why so many friends have their little blessings but I no longer do. All I want is my daughter back.