I'm starting to feel a little bit better, not so depressed. I think the medication they have me is really boosting my brain chemistry so that I'm able to live my life and not be feeling the sadness of losing my daughter all the time. It's only been a few days so we'll see how things go in the long run but I am hopeful. That doesn't mean that I'm still not sad-I just don't lull in it. I'm able to think of great things coming up. That also might be it...the excitement of new distractions. Of course I think about my addie alllllll the time, but I can be happy for new things too. Life is all about this balancing game. You just have to find the right balance-for you-but I think I'm heading towards the right direction in figuring things out.
Speaking of babies, I got some stuff for lily pad. Her shower is august 6 and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm trying to get things my sister really needs...boring, but necessary stuff people wouldn't think about buying. lol. So it's nice to have an outlet and think about the things I will need when I get pregnant someday. It's kind of like releasing the sadness and channeling it into happiness for my sister and hope for when my day comes...and I really hope it does come someday.
I got approved for the apartment! I'm so excited to move in next saturday. I will have it to myself for 3 weeks before my brother gets back in town. I can have some fun and get settled and get the place looking great. I'm a little worried about expenses and getting everything and paying about $850 a months (including tv/internet/electricity). I'm hoping that my brother is responsible and can find a part time job easily until school starts. I'm gonna pray to baby jesus about that. It's really wearing me down. I just need to stay focused on my happiness and excitement.
I start my internship training at 10am so I'm headed off to bed. Night everybody.
"You may think you know me, but you really have no idea."
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